Duch Krolowej Wiktori zeslal troche slonca na Toronto. Nalapalem 4 000 IU witaminy D na skore. Niebyloby Imperium Brytyjskiego bez konopi. Flota brytyjska bez silnych zagli i lin konopnych za duzo by swiata nie zawojowla. Poza tym Krolowa Wiktoria sama uzywala konopie (marihuane) do leczenia sie. Podobno miala bolesne miesiaczkowania, ktorych bol i nieprzyjemnosci lagodzila maryska.
"Queen Victoria herself smoked cannabis to relive her menstural cramps" - ROWAN ROBINSON ("The Great Book of Hemp")
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1
Discovering
One's Self
Focus Point
Life presents an abundance of opportunities, often challenging, to discover one's self. Growing in self-awareness is an on-going process of evaluating one's attitudes, values, and relationships with others and God. Accepting that each of us is a flawed human, yet loved unconditionally by a merciful God, allows a person to trust in a future of possibilities.
"Jezus, my Good Master, look with compassion on your poor servant. I think that I love you but I am afraid of being mistaken. If you question me as you questioned Peter, I think I would answer as he did: 'Yes, Lord, I love you.' It would not, however, be necessary for you to put that question a third time to make me feel uneasy about the sincerity of that love.
Let me repeat, I am afraid of being mistaken, because while I believe that I love you, you can see that I do not love you at all.
"I am a sinner, I know that. I think of what I am in the eyes of God. I admire his goodness, the patience with which he has awaited me. My excess of ingratitude leaves me in a state of confusion which it is difficult to explain" (Retreat Notes, December 1-21, 1811).
Eugene de Mazenod was aged thirty when he wrote these lines. In a few days he was to be ordained priest and in preparation for that event he had undertaken to make a retreat with a very specific purpose in mind:
"Purify my soul and empty my heart entirely so that the Holy Spirit will no longer find in me any obstacle to his divine workings. Fill everything in me with a love of Jesus Christ my Savior.
"Then I shall be able to live and breath him alone, to be consumed in his love, serving him and making known how loving he is, and that men and women are foolish to look elsewhere for peace of mind which they can find in him alone" (Retreat Notes, December 1-21, 1811).
The path he had followed to reach that point had not been a smooth one. The pampered son of upper Provencal nobility and with hopes of an easygoing life lived in luxury, he had known the French Revolution of 1789 and had gone into exile. He had known the break-up of his family and the divorce of his parents for sordid reasons of financial expediency. Soon he was to become a lonely and penniless young man in Naples and later, the wheels of fortune would turn again to make him the dandy of the Court in Palermo.
His boundless energy ensured that all the human passions were his in abundance and he tasted life to the full. He liked to be surrounded by men and women friends, especially the rich and titled ones. He took pleasure in being and appearing handsome and he even adopted the title of Count to which he had no right whatever.
On returning to France, he soon took to the lifestyle of his family status and frequented the ballrooms of his native Aix-en-Provence where he went from one dance to the next and from one feast to the next.
Since his family fortunes had been partly ruined by the Revolution and he dreamed of marrying into riches and refused an offer which he judged beneath his expectations.
"Judge for yourself what this would have meant for me: 40,000 Francs instead of the 150,000 which I expected to find!" (Letter, January 18, 1803).
"I think I shall never merry because the dowries in this country are not sufficiently large. I cannot and should not be so foolish as to marry a woman who cannot put my affairs in order" (Letter, February 12, 1803).
He did not suffer from false modesty and felt sufficiently at ease in society to want to be always at the center of events.
"I like to be loved and especially by those whose friendship flatters my self-esteem" (October 1808, Eugene's self-portrait for Mr. Duclaux).
He did not hesitate to use others for his own ends:
"I have meditated on the use I make of creatures. I have no hesitation in seeing that I have been abusive in this respect, at least up to the time of my conversion. Far from using them for the purpose for which they were intended, I have made them serve my own ends, I have been concerned only with using them and taking pleasure in them" (Retreat Notes, December 1-21, 1811).
This self-seeking was also to distance him from God even to the point of excluding him from his life and his thoughts. The God of his childhood became a stranger. His search for pleasure and social advancement left no place for the God of Jesus Christ! Of course he did not turn his back completely on his Baptism. He continued to practice and to follow the outer signs of belonging to the Church. However, God was now no more than a vague concept, a series of truths to which he adhered because of his moral and social principles:
"I was content to use God, so to speak, to have him serve my ends, to glance in his direction in passing" (Retreat Notes, December 1-21, 1811).
That was the path he followed. Evidently it is painful for any human being to look back on such a past and discover that he or she has been guided by a concern for appearances and the desire for immediate pleasure. It was even more difficult when that person was the proud young "Count" de Mazenod whose character did not tend towards modesty. What he discovered was all the more overwhelming for one such as he:
"God accepted me as I was. He affected not to see the damnable injuries that I continually inflicted on him; unchanging, he opened to me his loving heart" (Retreat Notes, December 1-21, 1811).
There is no point in building one's hopes on illusions, because sooner or later they will crumble to pieces leaving nothing but the distinct impression of having bypassed the essential. When it came to making a definitive commitment to building his life on God and with God, in spite of the burden of his past. Eugene discovered that it was possible to do so on one condition only: he must be open with God and drop the masks of all the personages whose roles he had tried to play in his own eyes and in those of others:
"O my God, how imperfect indeed is my conversion as yet! The roots of sin are still within me, worldly thoughts and memories still occupy my mind, the things I have renounced still strike my imagination and make unbecoming images there" (Retreat Notes, December 1-21, 1811).
Becoming aware of the truth with regard to his past life, he was ready to plunge into the future, having a clear idea of his weaknesses and a renewed confidence in God's mercy:
"God sees to it that we can profit by the very falls into which our weak human nature can lead us.... We can redouble our trust in God, our one truly solid support.... In this way we can perfect ourselves by our very falls, so great is the mercy of God towards his poor children" (Spiritual Conference, June 30, 1811).
A Meditation in the Company
of St. Eugene
how difficult the "operation truth" must have been for you! You had to accept your mistakes, your falls, your turning back. You had to submit to being seen as you truly are.
"Lord, what would became of me if I had not dared approach your adorable heart to consume in the midst of the fire of your love all that separates me from you?" (Retreat Resolutions, October 12, 1808).
At last, on that December evening in 1811, you bravely dropped, one by one, all those personages whose masks you had assumed. That was what God was waiting for in order to raise you up and make you a new and upright man. Discovering yourself as you really were, you found the courage to say: "Should I be discouraged because of all that? Certainly not, because if something has not been done in the past, it can be done in the future. That is the least I expect from the infinite goodness of my God" (Retreat Notes, December 1-21, 1811).
I too find this "operation truth" very difficult. I feel so afraid when I come face to face with the reality of my life, when I discover that I am poor and naked.
However, I realize that it is indispensable for me to know this truth. I know very well that true love cannot grow in the midst of falsehood.
Well then, it is only on condition that I am truthful as you were that I can experience the overwhelming presence of God who loves me just as I am, and who does so gratuitously and passionately. He loves me simply because I am precious in his eyes.
St. Eugene, obtain for me the courage to let myself be seen by God. Take me by the hand. Lead me to follow you in your foolish discovery of God's passionate love for me. God who says to every man and woman:
"You have ravished my heart,
my sister, my bride,
you have made me mad with love"
(Song of Songs 4:9).
What experiences from my past are difficult to accept? What has allowed me to look at these situations, in order to better understand myself? What is my image of God, or what I call a Higher Power? God accepts and loves me "as I am"; can I accept God's unconditional love? In what way does my spiritual life influence my decisions? (Bernard Dullier, "15 days of prayer with SAINT EUGENE DE MAZENOD", NEW CITY PRESS, Hyde Park, NY 2009).
01:15 Hrs. Lektura tronowa. "Niedziela".
WLODZIMIERZ REDZIOCH: Czym byl dla Pana, straznika watykanskiego, zamach na Papieza?
ANTONIO FABRIZIO: Dla nas ludzi, ktorzy mieli chronic Papieza, byl to straszny cios - cos takiego nigdy sie nie wydarzylo. Nikt nie bral pod uwage mozliwosci zamachu z bronia w reku na Ojca Swietego, dlatego i my nie bylismy uzbrojeni. Po 13 maja zylismy w ciaglej obawie, ze moze sie to powtorzyc. Ponadto pojawilo sie rowniez ryzyko terroryzmu.
WLODZIMIERZ REDZIOCH: Jak zmienila sie Wasza praca po zamachu?
ANTONIO FABRIZIO: Przede wszystkim zmienil sie sposob postrzegania niebezpieczenstw, ktore grozily Papiezowi. W Watykanie zdano sobie sprawe, ze w owczesnej sytuacji politycznej na swiecie, przede wszystkim w krajach bloku komunistycznego, Papiez jest bardziej zagrozony. Mielismy wiec byc czujniejsi, ale przede wszystkim nasi przelozeni stwierdzili, ze powinnismy byc uzbrojeni - nie moglismy stawic czola napastnikom golymi rekami. Z tego powodu zmieniono rowniez nasza nazwe na "Corpo di Vigilanza" (Korpus Strazy), a nastepnie na obowiazujaca do dzis nazwe: Zandarmeria Watykanska ("Swiadectwo papieskiego "Aniola Stroza". Antonio Fabrizio, emerytowany zandarm watykanski wspomina dzien 13 maja 1981 r. w rozmowie z Wlodzimierzem Redziochem", NIEDZIELA, 13 maja 20128).
01:45 Hrs. Wskakuje na wage APSCO. 75 kg.
01:50 Hrs. Zrywam kartke z kalendarza: "Na Zielone Swiatki robimy porzadki". Temperatura na tarasie 13C + temp. w kuchni 22C.
05:07 Hrs. Budzi mnie siusiu (slomkowe + puszyste).
08:27 Hrs. Budzi mnie siusiu (slomkowe + puszyste).
11:33 Hrs. Budze sie + siusiu (slomkowe + puszyste).
11:35 Hrs. 2-ga lektura tronowa. "Niedziela".
"Wiadomo, ze medycyna ma sluzyc dobru czlowieka i jego zdrowiu. Wspolczesna medycyna natomiast potrafi tez dzialac w odwrotnym kierunku" - O. JACEK NORKOWSKI OP
MATEUSZ WYRWICH: Niektore rzady mowia, ze nie beda leczyc danej osoby, bo wydatki na jej leczenie sa zbyt wysokie. W rezultacie szpital odstepuje od leczenia i tym samym skazuje czlowieka na smierc. Tylko dlatego, ze jest ciezko, nieuleczalnie chory. Czy nie jest to kolejny krok w kierunku tak modnej na poczatku XX wieku eugeniki? Z jej nastepstwem, ktorym byla rzez ludzi dokonywana przez Niemcow i Rosjan w obozach...
O. JACEK NORKOWSKI OP: W czasie rzadow Hitlera w Niemczech wszystkich chorych psychicznie uznano za nieludzi i poddano eksterminacji. Dzis moze istniec obawa, ze mamy do czynienia z podobnymi zachowaniami w tym czy innym kraju. I nie nazywa sie tego wowczas morderstwem, bo nie mozna zamordowac kogos, kto... nie jest czlowiekiem, kto jest formalnie pozbawiony statusu czlowieka ("Prawo Laski. Z o. dr. n. med. Jackiem Norkowskim, dominikaninem, ktory zajmuje sie m.in. problemami etycznymi zwiazanymi z sytuacja chorych z urazem mozgu, rozmawia Mateusz Wyrwich", NIEDZIELA, 13 maja 2018).
11:55 Hrs. Wskakuje na wage APSCO. 73 kg.
12:00 Hrs. Biore lyzke stolowa oleju z lnu. CBC radio podaje temperature w Toronto 17C. Temperatura na tarasie 26C + temp. w kuchni 22C.
12:28 Hrs. Glosne burczenie w brzuchu z glodu.
13:04 Hrs. 1-sza szklanka wody.
13:10 Hrs. 2-ga szklanka wody + 2 daktyle.
13:30 Hrs. Wychodze na taras opalac sie.
14:09 Hrs. Schodze ze slonca + pot + opalalem przod (4.000 IU witaminy D). Troche piecze skora + zapach w powietrzu grilla u sasiada.
14:17 Hrs. 3-cia szklanka wody.
14:35 Hrs. Siusiu (slomkowe).
15:24 Hrs. Wrzucam na Facebook + Twitter: "Bedzie przebudowa wejscia do portu Ustka. Podpisano juz umowe" (https://ustka24.info/bedzie-przebudowa-wejscia-do-portu-ustka-podpisano-juz-umowe/).
15:48 Hrs. Siusiu (jasno-slomkowe) + jem kawalek ananasa.
16:39 Hrs. Siusiu (slomkowe + puszyste) + jem banana.
18:13 Hrs. Wrzucam na Facebook + Twitter "Walesa u protestujacych w Sejmie: ja wiem, jak blyskawicznie pokonac PiS i dlatego mnie niszcza! I tak macie lepiej niz ja za czasow "Solidarnosci" .
18:17 Hrs. Siusiu (jasno-slomkowe + puszyste).
18:50 Hrs. Glosne burczenie i ssanie w zoladku z glodu + 4-ta szklanka wody.
19:05 Hrs. 5-ta szklanka wody + 10 pestek z moreli (wit. B17) + 5 suszonych moreli + 4 kapsulki 200 mg (800 mg) Magnesium Bis-Glycinate 200 + zelatynka 600 mg RxOmega-3.
19:55 Hrs. Siusiu (slomkowe + puszyste).
20:25 Hrs. Siusiu (jasno-slomkowe). Sciemnia sie + zaslaniam okna w domu.
20:55 Hrs. 3-cia lektura tronowa. "Niedziela"
21:18 Hrs. Wskakuje na wage APSCO 73 kg + huk petard, rac i rakiet za oknem + biore lyzeczke oleju kokosowego doustnie.
21:42 Hrs. Burczy w brzuchu z glodu + pije szklanke zielonej herbaty.
22:05 Hrs. Jem 3 smazone jajka na oleju awokadowym + 2 kromki chleba orkiszowego + 2 plasterki poledwicy + kiszona kapusta + ogorek kiszony.
22:23 Hrs. Siusiu (jasno-slomkowe + puszyste).
22:55 Hrs. 6-ta szklanka wody.
23:35 Hrs. 7-ma szklanka wody z lyzka stolowa octu jablkowego.
23:58 Hrs. Pije szklanke herbaty owocowej GLOG + tabletka witaminy B100 Complex + tabletka multiwitaminy Centrum Men 50+ + 2 kawalki czekolady 74% + suszona figa.
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