Toronto Cannabis Cup
Bust my Bubbleator
Goodies handed out at annual bud bash barely enough to cut a buzz
By MATT MERNAGH
WHEN I PICTURED WHAT HIGH TIMES pot orgy the Toronto Cannabis Cup would look like, I imagined tables and tables piled high with sweet toke.
But five strains only? And no info available on any of them? The fifth annual competition, held at a College Street venue (kept hush-hush out of respect of the owners last month), saw some 200 mostly out-of-town weed warriors shell out $250 each to rate the best bud this country has to offer.
"Ontario has the best pot. It's right here in this room!" High Times editor Dan Skye hollers.
But two strain samples handed out Friday and three on Saturday during a weekend featuring a banquet, BBQ and boat tour isn't cutting it.
Pot participants only receive a total of 5 grams over two days - not exactly sustaining if you're a weed heavy weight. Barely enough to cut a buzz for medpot users.
As the weekend wears on, stoners become less concerned about marking their scorecards and more about the rinky-dink amounts of pot officially bestowed for the judging. But personal stashes save the day.
The real competition is the unofficial one between hobbyist growers who share and sample one another's stoner swag - though not everyone here figures cannabis equals friendliness.
"There are two kinds of potheads," Skunk senior editor Mama Kind wryly observes," - weed whores and pot pimps." One participant in a red medpot shirt hands me some Afghani Bike Rider, her unique potent pain reliever. It's a resinous, lip-smacking strain that lights me up like midnight loving.
A hippy-looking type passes around his mixtrure of "Burmese crossed with Fucking Incredible," two seed types he got from the Vancouver Island Seed Company. It's a wonderful afternoon weed that gives a gentle body buzz and leaves me with a feeling of mental alertness.
The hit of the trade show part of the event is the Bubbleator, a mini weed-washing machine and hashish hand press that turns pot into hash in five easy minutes.
"Dude, doesn't she look like Martha Stewart?" a glazed participant asks, referring to the bud babe demonstrating the product.
We watch Martha Stoner dump 200 to 300 grams of shake and ice-cold water into the Bubbleator. She closes the lid, then sets a dial to agitate THC trichomes from the leafy matter. Rinse, spin, drain and - voila - all yummy hashish.
I'm feeling better already. By Saturday's BBQ, Toronto's Pot Pixie's burlesque number, Papa's Got A Brand New Bag, keeps us whistling.
Pixie's costume is made from six enormous Volcano vaporizer bags, compete with nozzles. When her flasher jacket comes off, the full pumped-up bags pop out nipple nozzles. Stoners are stunned, when she twirls around the room offering hits from her luscious bags.
After two days of inhaling, smelling and tasting, the votes are tallied during Sunday's boat cruise. The winner is Manitoba farmer Johnny Budd's Blueberry Super Skunk. He tells me later his secret is growing big soil-based plants anf flushing them the last few weeks with non-fertilized clean water.
"Let them grow to full maturity" instead of snipping them too soon, he counsels. He may be the champ, but Tourism Toronto is the real winner. Without taxpayer financing, the pot community is creating a globally recognized premier doobie destination (NOW, July 17-23 2008).
KAREN ZAREMBA - Biust Ze Stali
05:25 Hrs. Lektura tronowa. "Polityka" (www.polityka.pl).
Twarze krolow z dynastii Piastow pedzla Jana Matejki sa wykoncypowanym wyobrazeniem na temat ich wygladu. Przeslanki byly bowiem mgliste. Malarz staral sie oddac nie tyle ich rzeczywisty wyglad, ile charakter, pozycje, sile. Kazda kolejna proba odtworzenia wizerunku znanych postaci historycznych, przeprowadzona tylko na podstawie szczatkowych opisow z epoki, bedzie umowna (Agnieszka Krzeminska, "Rysy z retuszem. Kiedy i po co pojawil sie portret? Czy wizerunki antycznych wladcow, powstale za ich zycia, pokazuja, jak rzeczywiscie wygladali?", POLITYKA nar 25 (2659), 21 czerwca 2008).
06:05 Hrs. Nie zaluj roz, kiedy plonie za toba las - unosi sie w Polskim Radiu Toronto na fali 1320 AM gdy szczotkuje zeby.
06:44 Hrs. Radze sobie swietnie, przeciesz wiesz - spiewa szlachcianka Patrycja Markowska w polskim radiu. Na dworze zachmurzenie duze. Mokro. Padalo w nocy. Brak spiewu ptakow. W dzienniku: Szlachcic Komorowski uwaza, ze porozumienie z lewica w sprawie ustawy medialnej jest wskazane. Prof. Geremek zostanie pochowany na Powiazkach w alei zasluzonych. Festiwal filmowy "Nowe Horyzonty" rozpoczety.
ESSO, Shell biora za litr paliwa $1.28.8. Petro-Canada $1.29.4.
Po drodzie czestuje sie darmowymi gazetami ze skrzynek na ul. Bloor. "Metro" (http://www.metronews.ca/) z "Miller basking in new-found glory. Mayor's fortunes have turned since this time last year" na okladce. "24 hours" (http://www.torontosun.com/) z "Too few cancer testers? Pathology group wants guidelines to avoid breast cancer testing errors" na okladce. "Now" (http://www.nowtoronto.com/) z "Toronto's best sandwitch" na okladce. "Eye Weekly" (http://www.eyeweekly.com/) z "King Khan & The Shriners. Get down with garage-rock's new ruling class" na okladce.
"Metro" (35 stron) + "24 hours" (37 stron) + "Now" (119 stron) + "Eye Weekly" (63 strony) = 254 strony. Gazety polozone jedna na drugiej to 2 cm. grubosci.
15:12 Hrs. "I think you're lovin', but you don't love me. I want to be free" - unosi sie w CBC RADIO I na fali 99.1 FM. Na dworze zachmurzenie umiarkowane. 27-stopniowo. Udczuwalne 35-stopniowo.
15:28 Hrs. Wyjmuje ze skrzynki na listy najnowszy magazyn "The Philadelphia Trumpet" (www.thetrumpet.com) z "Is America vulnerable to cyberterrorism?" na okladce.
Tadeusz Gajl w "Herby Szlacheckie Rzeczypospolitej Obojga Narodow", zacne szlacheckie rodziny MARKOWSKI przypisuje do klanow: Boncza, Drzewica, Grzymala, Jastrzebiec, Szeliga. Natomiast zacne szlacheckie rodziny KOMOROWSKI do klanow: Abdank, Boza wola, Ciolek, Dolega, Gryf, Korczak, Kotwicz, Lis, Labedz, Nalecz, Ostoja, Pobog, Rola, Skorowa, Slepowron, Swinka, Komorowski.
19:24 Hrs. Oddaje glos na Ustke (3591) na portalu "Gmina" (http://www.gmina.pl).
19:41 Hrs. Umieszczam wpis na watku "Bolek" na FORUM USTKA (http://www.ustka.pl/forum/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=666).
- Startowalem w wielu krjach Europy, ale czegos takiego nie widzialem - mowi czarnoskory zuzlowiec Antonio Lindback, ktory musial uciekac z grudziadzkiego stadionu przed rasistami (Pawel Rzekanowski, "Rasisci na zuzlu w Grudziadzu. Rasisci atakowali w Grudziadzu czarnoskorego zuzlowca. Prezes miejscowego klubu nie widzi problemu", GAZETA WYBORCZA, Wtorek 8 lipca 2008 - www.gazetawyborcza.pl).
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